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Masterchief
08-10-2000, 12:14 PM
The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later. and later.....and later....and oh forget it.
The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it’s the NEW model.
Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots’a pretty colors and lights.
The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months. any doubts...ask Woodstream bout this!
If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair, but they'd be available 24 hours a day to screw up your car!
Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun. Punt this! but Officer....I WAS driving on the road.. I don’t know what happened... next thing I knew I was off the highway!
It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age? Car wouldn't come with profile feature...oh no!
It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are. Some compacts would claim to be Limos...
AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."

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I don't get it?
Signature?
What is all this?
mailto:masterchief@aliensoup.c om

mthrlangl
08-10-2000, 02:01 PM
Hehhehe..that's great. AOL was a pain, but they sure made making web pages easy.

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You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help. - Calvin

Diesel
08-10-2000, 02:11 PM
Yeah, too bad they looked like crap on anything but AOLs browser.


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On an long enough timeline, everyone's survival rate drops to zero.

liltaz
08-10-2000, 02:27 PM
They are/were/always will be HORRIBLE.

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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."

- Woodrow Wilson

Diesel
08-10-2000, 02:50 PM
"You've got mail!"

Please step away from the computer, ma'am.
http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/smile.gif


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On an long enough timeline, everyone's survival rate drops to zero.

liltaz
08-10-2000, 02:56 PM
http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/lol.gif

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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."

- Woodrow Wilson

mthrlangl
08-10-2000, 03:36 PM
I like "you've got mail" a whole lot better than "good-bye." And my webpages usually looked good on whatever browser I was on..AOL or no.

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You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help. - Calvin

monsieurjohn
08-11-2000, 12:56 AM
"you've got a flat!" http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/lol.gif

oh, i *hate* "goodbye" sounds. my isp came with one (not aol) and every time i got kicked offline (frequently) it would have this obnoxious woman come and say "goodbye" and i could swear she was taunting me. she did it on *purpose*! i could just take whoever recorded that voice by the neck and squeeeeeze

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