guy stuff

[Jennifer]

Speak of the devil.....he's calling me NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damnit!!! Okay, this guy I used to like.....we always hung out everyday for a month straight well after about 3 weeks he started to **** me off because I'm one of those people who can't be smothered by someone else. I NEED my independence. I can't stand to be taken care of. I love taking care of people but when it comes to someone taking care of me...uh~uh not happening. The only time I'll let someone take care of me is when I want to be taken care of which is rarely. I don't get close to people especialy in relationships. I'm just not the relationship type. But I really started to like him. When I really start to like someone I unintentionally forget about them, treat them bad, etc. I can't stop thinking about him, though lately I've been able to. He's too touchy~feely and I hate that. He's too caring. I'll say "ouch" for instance, he'll say "are you okay" so sincerely. I'm like dude I just said ouch thats it no biggy. He calls too much. The other day I was trying to dry my hair and I told him to call me back later okay later means just that LATER not in five minutes he calls in five minutes "did I wait long enough?" NO!! so he calls in another five minutes!!!! I'm like ****!!!!! I haven't been talking much to him on the phone it's mostly just silence but I don't think he gets the hint. I just want to be on my own sooooo bad!!!!! What should I do?!?!? I hate to be so mean but damn you know. I don't know if I really like him or repulsed by him. I'm really ****ed up when it comes to relationships. That's why I lvoe being on my own you know. No jealousy, stress, confusion, anger nothing like that. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!

[Jennifer]

and also he ALWAYS agrees with everything I say!!!!!!! I hate that!!!!!!!! I hate when people don't/can't have their own opinions and personalities. If you want to talk to me then you HAVE to have your own opinion and not be afraid to speak your mind. He doesn't do it.

[hi02]

My question is why did you like him in the first place since it seems to me the bad out weighs the good.

If you really like this guy sit him down and tell him how you feel. If he cares about your feelings, that might be good in the long run. You can't expect guys to read your mind because 9 times out of 10 you'll be disappointed.

Also some parts of your posts makes me think you've got some problems in th relationship dept. Like saying how you forget about people you really like and treat them badly... maybe he calls because he's concerned you might break up with him or someting since you might treat him badly or ignore him.

OR maybe right now you shouldn't be in a relationship.

[Jennifer]

you know what though you are exactly right about everything. I liked him at first because either he was himself around me or he wasnt himself but which ever one it was, was the one i liked and he's changed either way. I do have terrible trouble in the relationship dept. I know we've all been through the ringer with relationships but I've put my guard up and i dont know how i did it or how to put it down. I really need someone to get in my brain and help me figure out what is wrong with me. I don't consider us a couple or anything because it was never made clear what we are but he apperantly thinks we're more than friends I don't wnat to be with anyone right now. But this **** always seem to jsut happen to me. I always find myself in this awkward situations. I don't understand. I don't know if i like him now. I just want my independence and he seems to be holding me back from becoming what i want to be and do. I'm way too young to be getting serious with ANYONE especially like he's wanting.

[GINA]

you should be a little flattered that someone likes you that much. does it make you just a little happy when he calls? or when he asks about you? you're only 17, you have lots of time to try and figure out what's wrong with you and your relationships. it took me YEARS to figure out what was wrong with me and my boyfriends. be patient with that, things will come together at some point, i promise ;)
as for this guy...i just suggest telling him what kind of person you are, exactly what you just told us. maybe tell him on the phone; since he calls so much, he's probably more comfortable talking to you that way. try as hard as you can to be honest and open with him. once you let it out and he knows, you'll feel a lot better :) good luck!

[Jennifer]

Thank you. I am only 17 and that's exactly why I really really don't want a relationship especially right now. I just don't know how to tell him. I don't want to be mean. And I absolutely HATE hurting people or seeing people hurt. I'd rather suffer myself if it keeps someone from hurting or being unhappy. That's just the kind of person I am. And I hate that because people mistake by kindness for weakness, ya know.

[rimmer]

any chance you could write that again using paragraph's please, all the words blurred into one.

its a bit hard to read loads of stuff without breaks (i'm getting old):)

ok just managed to read it without my eye's bleeding.

well you need to tell this guy its over its not fair on him to keep him hanging on. he obviously does your head in so its about time you told him so isnt it?

i read that you dont want to upset him, well unfortuantely you are going to one way or another, if you leave it he will get the message eventually but form a very low opinion of you for keeping him dangling, or you can bin him now and have him beal at you for a week or so then its over.

i know which one i would choose?

[Jennifer]

oh everythings fine now. we are just friends. pretty good friends actually. and i talk to him about my stuff. so its cool now.
i've actually got different problems now.....one guy who is an ex of mine from 3 years ago we've started talkign again and then he just becasme a jerk. but see i really love him and always will. i just dont care if we get back together or not.
this other guy...well....he's gorgeous.....he obviously a bit interested in me at first because out of the blue at his work he started talking to me and i know he doesnt do that with everyone. well when we found out i was a little younger than him....like a couple of years.....i'm not exactly sure if that changed anything for him....he still treats me like he always has which is different from everyone else.....i would go in to detail but i'm sure you guys dont want to hear it.
i'm just so baffled by guys.....

[MO]

How old are you?

[Jennifer]

I am 17, I know, I'm still so young I've got a life to live........all that junk. Thats why it realy pisses me off that I've started depending on guys so much. I used to be great on my own. I loved being on my own and now here lately it just seems I HAVE to have someone, other than family, to talk to before I go to bed or i can't sleep as well. It's terrible. It really is. But I am working on it.

[koehiir]

Sounds like you need a good friend - not someone who is romantically inclined.

[Jennifer]

see i love guys much more than girls. They're are far better friends than girls are. I relate better with them and my true personality comes out when I'm with guys I adore (as friends obviously) I have a couple of them but they are not friends with each other and that kind of sucks because it'd be fun to hang out with all of them together. i don't know what the **** this all has to do with anything. Just don't pay this any mind. It's very middle~schoolish. I'm fine now. I saw the guy I like very much tonight and I also saw the guy I love very much.......for some reason I was very nervous around him and I'm never like that especially with someone I've known so long.....my knees started to shake and sometimes I could barely look him in the eye.It was very........ weird. And I was also hit on by the very much Matthew Broderick look~alike. I had fun tonight...

[Jennifer]

I AM SUCH A PATHETIC, DESPERATE DORK I KNOW!!!1

[monsieurjohn]

i have to say, you remind me a lot of one of my female friends - and your posts have given me an interesting insight into her thinking

i don't think you'er pathetic or desperate, just a bit confused. you seem willing to let things sort themselves out, which is how i've always done things. trust your gut, it won't lead you wrong.

[Jennifer]

thanks sweetis. it almost seems like you think more of me than i do. i'm just letting it all be and just live my life. i'm not sitting around anymore because thaats jsut not me and it never was i just got to a point in my young age where i became dependent on something for a bit but its good now. plus i saw my ex yesterday, the one i love, and as i was walking away he had said to his friend "shes ****ing hot" and any other time that would have pissed me off because i think women should be treated like human beings and not just pieces of meat.......it pissed me off when at, lets say the mall, little immature boys will be like "hey baby" or whistle or i've even had this guy just go "hey...hey....hey....hey" so i just kept walking i mean he could have at least given me enough respect to come to me and say something like "hi..i'm (insert name here)" or something with a little more respect thean that. it's really degrading...but anyway since i've known chris for so many years and he's really great i didnt mind at all..........this is confusing i bet. i just go from subject to subject......