Comments welcome. Be nice. ;)

[Shogun]

Well, I'm a little more light hearted since I wrote this, but I'll post it anyways, as it's the only piece of poetry I managed to save after my hard disk crash.

Dead Memory:

I can't believe she did it,
I can't believe she left.
Although I can't commit it,
I pray for my own death.

The person I desire,
Who sparks my heart afire,
I'm really not a liar.
I really want her back.

She left me with a memory,
A thought that I regret.
I wish she was my enemy,
Someone I can forget.

The person I desire,
Who sparks my heart afire,
I'm really not a liar.
I really want her back.

I never should have done it,
I never should have loved.
I cannot overcome it,
The feeling can't be shoved.

Is it better to fade away,
Or to burn out,
to never see another day?

(This was originally going to be a song, but I couldn't write a tune to go with it. BTW, All music I write is Alternative Rock)

[jadedskies]

that's pretty damn good..

[Shogun]

Thanks. It's not exactly my first.
Unfortunately, I generally only get inspiration when I'm really down, so they're pretty much all kinda depressive.

[YesIndeed]

That's not half bad mate! And I'm like that too, I write best when I'm really down.

[Alien]

Real good work, thanks for sharing that with us. :D

[Bob]

That kicks ass Dude .. how long you been writing poetry?

[Shogun]

I've been writing poetry since I was 17 and 10 months.
Now I'm 18 and two months, so in five months, I wrote approx 70-80 poems, about 20 that I liked, and about 10 that I showed anybody.
I'm writing some stuff at the moment, I'll post it when I'm done.
BTW, A *great* resource for poets....
Poetry.com's Rhyming helper (http://rhyme.poetry.com/)


*Whoops, one too many D's in helper. ;) Needed to be fixed.

[YesIndeed]

There was a D? :confused:

[Shogun]

I had "helpder", so I fixed it.

[YesIndeed]

lol... okays then :)

[Prox]

Wow thats amazing. I might like to play with writing a tune for that if you wouldnt mind. I cant say that I could do it as Im still learning, but still I wouldnt mind trying, that sounds like it would really go well with music.

[Shogun]

It would go very well with music, but I do request that if you write a tune for it, please write a tune that suits the "Alternative rock" from '92-'95. That's what it was built for.

[Prox]

Uh oh . . . not really my style . . . im more of a blues guitarist . . . that is the style I was thinking when I read it . . . I dont really know alternative style guitar . . . oh well

[Bob]

I wanna play the guitar! No fair! :P

That rhyming helper is quite an amusing little toy! :)

[YesIndeed]

Originally posted by Bob
That rhyming helper is quite an amusing little toy! :)

*agrees*

[Bob]

Even the rhyming helper couldn't find me a word that rhymed with orange though ... :)

[victoronehalf]

That was really awesome. Right to the point. We don't have enough poetry like that these days. It's refreshing to see a poem without too many similies/metaphors. I think I have to post something soon. Maybe my murder poem from my Language Arts class.

[Bob]

VictorOne has summed it right up, congrats Shogun.

[Shogun]

I'll post anything new I come up with in here, whenever I come up with it. Be warned, nowadays, these words of rhyming are few and far between.

[Bob]

Make sure you do post your new stuff!!

[Shogun]

Mebbie one day I post one of my tunes as well, I have a penchant for choosing stuff that goes about the beat rate and volume as ... say ... Pearl Jam's "Better Man"
Just different tunes.

[victoronehalf]

Originally posted by Shogun
Mebbie one day I post one of my tunes as well, I have a penchant for choosing stuff that goes about the beat rate and volume as ... say ... Pearl Jam's "Better Man"
Just different tunes.

:eek: YOU MUST post your tunes then. I love that song.

[Shogun]

I said MAYBE.
I can't exactly play well, I can sing even worse, and the tunes aren't literally "Better Man" jus the same speed and volume.

[Bob]

You had better Sho!! We wanna hear!! :)