View Full Version : Accidents with poop
JHowse
02-08-2001, 10:06 AM
We want to hear your stories about poop accidents. For those of you with dogs, do share your shoe-shoe stories (dog poop on your shoe). For those of you who live on a farm, have you ever slipped on a cow pattie (otherwise known as natural land mines) or fell in horse manure? Any other kinds of poop accidents? Share! http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/supergrin.gif
meezercat
02-08-2001, 04:43 PM
Alright...this is not really an accident, but...well you know how cats can be picky about their litterboxes--the kind of litter you put in, how often you clean the box, etc... Anyway, if I have not cleaned the box recently enough for them, one or the other of them will leave a TINY little poop on the mat outside the box, just to remind me http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/lol.gif
spidergoolash
02-09-2001, 12:24 AM
i have poo stories that would make your hair curl ...
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"only a white man would build a fire for everyone to see."
monsieurjohn
02-16-2001, 01:41 AM
go on, curl my hair http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/smile.gif
not that it's not already curly...
just *try* to curl it more http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/supergrin.gif
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"Maybe *this* is what 'cooties', the disease that every grade schooler is terrified of, yet knows not the symptoms of which, is!" - KNSinatra at 3:34 AM
MissLeo
02-16-2001, 01:50 AM
*gets into the hair-curling queue* http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/wink.gif
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<FONT COLOR="blue">My candle burns at both ends, It will not last the night, But, ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, It gives a lovely light!</FONT c>
<FONT size="3"><center><FONT COLOR="red">À l'enfer avec amour!</FONT s></center></FONT c>
JHowse
02-18-2001, 12:33 PM
So spidey, when are you going to share your stories? We want to hear them. Come on! Gross us out!! We want to see if you can make anyone do this: ---> http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/hurl.gif
http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/supergrin.gif http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/wink.gif http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/tongue.gif
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Does driving a car from Saturn make me an alien?
I'm just a quick pee. - liltaz, fastest pee in the West!
That which does not make me barf, makes me stronger - possum37, fugly.net guru.
spidergoolash
02-22-2001, 11:10 PM
garsh, i forgot about this thread. um, once i fell down and slid into dog poo. did i tell this story already? it was on my watch even.
dog poo is *the* most vile smell in the world.
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"only a white man would build a fire for everyone to see."
resident spiderMOD
Livin on a farm all I did while we had horses was shovel shovel shovel. How is that for a Poop story. And cleaning goat barns is NASTY. Emu's Crap everywhere and you cant help but step in dried Emu crap on ocation. Once it is dried it isnt that nasty but still. That is the reason I have a pair of shoes that I wear only outside and no where else. Oh well Those are my poopie stories.
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Mother Should I Trust The Government - Pink Floyd
KNSinatra
02-22-2001, 11:31 PM
At college I have a habit of always wearing my birkenstock sandals without socks regardless of the weather -- winter, fall, raining or pouring.
There was this one field on campus where hundreds of Canadian Geese would graze...eat...and poophttp://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/smile.gif This field was normally solid, but on occasion, after it rained, the field would get really soggy, almost like a swamp.
One day, the sun was shining very brightly -- it made me forget that the day before had experienced a downpour. I began to cross the field, and halfway through - where it was at the point where it would do just as much damage to turn back, as it would to keep on trudging all the way through, my bare feet sank so deep into the swamp-like field that all you could see were my ankles. When I finally emerged from my trek across the field, I had goose crap exuding from my sandals -- all squished between my toes, caked in the heel of my shoes. And I squished in it the whole rest of my walk home.
eww http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/smile.gif
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monsieurjohn: we have 2 yaks on campus
KNSinatra: you lie.
monsieurjohn: no i don't. i don't know what they're doing here, but they're real.
En fuego, bebe.
<FONT COLOR="#000000" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">[This message has been edited by KNSinatra on February 23, 2001 at 12:33 AM]</font>
monsieurjohn
02-24-2001, 08:41 PM
ewww is right!
i don't have any good stories like that, but i'm loving these
more! more!!!!
spider, you said you had storie<u>s</u> that would make our hair curl
let's hear the rest of them!!!
...or were you *bluffing*??
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monsieurjohn: Professor of Metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigogology
"Maybe *this* is what 'cooties', the disease that every grade schooler is terrified of, yet knows not the symptoms of which, is!" - KNSinatra at 3:34 AM
JHowse
02-27-2001, 09:36 AM
I remember being sick at my stomach, when I was really young (like first or second grade), and I felt the urge to vomit. Well, I also had a massive diarhea attack....being a young child, I didn't recognize the diarhea attack as the need to vomit was larger...so as I heaved, I made a huge mess in my pants....http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/blush.gif Talk about embarrasing...I remember crying after that...http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/lol.gif
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Does driving a car from Saturn make me an alien?
That which does not make me barf, makes me stronger - possum37, fugly.net guru.
spidergoolash
02-27-2001, 09:51 PM
mj> no, i wasn't bluffing http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/lol.gif although i wish i was after recalling this story:
i remember when spiderling #2 had a "poo party" in her crib. she somehow opened her pamper and took the warm, mooshy poo and smeared it all over the walls and in between the bars of her crib. she was also completely brown, because she didn't forget to sschmear it all over herself first. apparently, when she became bored w/that, she then took what was left of it and was hurling it across the room. i cried for two hours straight. come to think of it, that's exactly how long it took me to clean it up http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/frown.gif
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"only a white man would build a fire for everyone to see."
resident spiderMOD
victoronehalf
02-27-2001, 09:56 PM
a poo party? does that mean other babies were involved? that must have been fun.... http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/lol.gif
JHowse
02-27-2001, 11:40 PM
I guess that's a case of the fan hitting the $#!^, eh Spidey? http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/smilewinkgrin.gif
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Does driving a car from Saturn make me an alien?
That which does not make me barf, makes me stronger - possum37, fugly.net guru.
spidergoolash
02-28-2001, 08:25 AM
haaHaahhaaHhaa.
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"only a white man would build a fire for everyone to see."
resident spiderMOD
JHowse
02-28-2001, 09:34 AM
http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/rotflmao.gif You tell some good ones, Spidey. http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/supergrin.gif
I just hope I never catch my daughter slinging the s__t!! http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/smilewinkgrin.gif
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Does driving a car from Saturn make me an alien?
That which does not make me barf, makes me stronger - possum37, fugly.net guru.
spidergoolash
02-28-2001, 09:58 PM
Originally posted by JHowse:
I just hope I never catch my daughter slinging the s__t!! http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/smilewinkgrin.gif
<evil laugh> oh, you will, my friend - you will <evil grin>
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"only a white man would build a fire for everyone to see."
resident spiderMOD
Mr Cake
03-10-2001, 05:15 PM
I had a very bad accident many years ago...
To set the scene. I was on holiday in Holland with my parents. We where staying with some friends who had a cottage next to a farm which was also owned by the same family.
Got up at 5:30am to watch the cows being milked and after a few minutes of this, was bored. Walked to the back of the farm, and had a look around. The sky was fairly gray for this time of morning as the soon was well hidden behind clouds.
I stood on a concrete platform which backed onto a barn. Across the other side of a very large conctete area was a huge man made hill with a ladder going up the side. Being young I wanted to climb this...
...so I jumped off the ledge onto the concrete and planned to walk to the ladder. Unfortunatly, when I hit the concrete I made a sickening splashing sound and went through it. I had infact jumped into the hugest pool of cow**** that you can ever imagine and was covered in it...
I ran back to the cottage and banged on the door. Was made to strip naked and be hosed down before being allowed inside.
http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/lol.gif
Thanks for making my day, Mr. Cake. The mental image is priceless
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"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks"
Chimpi
03-10-2001, 06:33 PM
I once had to fart and it came out as something else.
Never had a brown pair of underwear before...
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Common Sense is a killer. If you don't have it, god bless you.
Justin's Swing Palace (http://www.geocities.com/bigband_justin/index.html)
JHowse
03-10-2001, 10:43 PM
Mr. Cake, thanks for such a great story. I will now think of you when I hear someone say, "You stepped in it big, this time!" http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/supergrin.gif http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/lol.gif http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/tongue.gif http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/wink.gif
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Does driving a car from Saturn make me an alien?
That which does not make me barf, makes me stronger - possum37, fugly.net guru.
Mr Cake
03-10-2001, 10:52 PM
Glad you all enjoyed my embarrasment! It brings a smile to my face now, however at the time it was more of a look of panic, horror and a wonderful smell!!!
Strangely, since that day, I've never really been near a farm. Especially during the early hours of the day.
SwissSmiss
03-22-2001, 10:59 AM
i can't believe i am actually telling this story...
once upon a time when i was about 12 (too old for this situation to be happening), I was getting ready to take a shower. I had to fart. So I did. Then I heard a plop. Now you have to understand that the tile in our bathroom is the same color as crap, so it was hell to clean up. And now that I think about it, I didn't use any cleaning aid. I just wiped it up with toilet paper. I think I am going to mop the bathroom floor when I get home...
Wangel
03-22-2001, 11:11 PM
I was almost afraid to post this, but when I was a freshmen in college, staying at a dorm, the guys would talk about Veronica. They never let on about Veronica, but always giggled under their breath about her. Well, I decided to ask her out. She was a very nice girl, good grades, respected, etc. On one particular evening after a big dinner, we went back to her apartment. We started to get intimate and everything was going great. At the height of her intimacy, I heard this squeashy sound. Right afterwards, I smelled a bad smell. I felt something awful on my knees. I reached around, thinking it must have been me. Only it wasn't. She had let loose a giant bowel movement! It was a terrible and stinky mess. It might not have been so bad if we didn't have corn for dinner!
meezercat
03-23-2001, 01:54 PM
Originally posted by SwissSmiss:
I think I am going to mop the bathroom floor when I get home...
OMG, when I think about the number of times I must have walked over that spot in the last 10 years... http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/eek.gif
At least I moved out when you were 12, but it's not like I haven't been there for extended visits.... Oh man...
The worst part is that the grout between the tiles there is REALLY dark brown, so maybe it just crusted over the grout http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/sickpuke.gif
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Love will tear us apart....again
meezercat
03-23-2001, 01:55 PM
Originally posted by Wangel:
She had let loose a giant bowel movement! It was a terrible and stinky mess.
OK, was that an accident, or was it something she did on purpose? Seems to me that if people were giggling about it, maybe she had some sort of sick fetish and did that on purpose. Still quite gross.
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Love will tear us apart....again
KNSinatra
03-23-2001, 02:06 PM
Yeah, I too am wondering if she had a reputation of sorts -- otherwise, why would the guys giggle about her *before* your incident? Did she have IBD -- (Irritable Bowel Disorder)? What was HER reaction to the incident, and did you have a second date? You can't just leave us hanging wtih so many unanswered questions! http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/smile.gif http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/lol.gif
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monsieurjohn: we have 2 yaks on campus
KNSinatra: you lie.
monsieurjohn: no i don't. i don't know what they're doing here, but they're real.
En fuego, bebé.
Wangel
03-23-2001, 02:25 PM
OK, I didn't realize that there was going to be such an interest in my post. Anyway, it seems she totally lets loose at the height of sexual enjoyment. I didn't go out with her a second time. When this happened, she was yelling and screaming (from enjoyment) and didn't really seem to realize what was happening. After she was done, she just got up to clean up the mess, and then into the shower. It really wasn't discussed. It just sort of ended.
KNSinatra
03-23-2001, 02:39 PM
http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/sickpuke.gif
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monsieurjohn: we have 2 yaks on campus
KNSinatra: you lie.
monsieurjohn: no i don't. i don't know what they're doing here, but they're real.
En fuego, bebé.
JHowse
03-27-2001, 09:15 AM
That's just gross and emberassing. I not only feel sorry for you...but for her, as well. I mean, that's a hard reputation to live down. Still...most disgusting. http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/hurl.gif
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Does driving a car from Saturn make me an alien?
That which does not make me barf, makes me stronger - possum37, fugly.net guru.
spidergoolash
03-28-2001, 10:12 AM
god, i'm laughing so hard right now. smiss, your story reminded me of the time when i got poo on the radiator in my old apartment; but that's another story.
http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/rotflmao.gif
and wangel, man - that is some story http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/smile.gif poo smells 100 times worse when its OUT OF THE TOILET. IN the toilet is bad enuf. you musta been gagging?
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"only a white man would build a fire for everyone to see."
resident spiderMOD
DaJiminiator
05-11-2001, 09:16 PM
Aw, Spidey you DO have more stories! Do share http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/supergrin.gif
Here's what made me paranoid about trying to catch snowflakes in my mouth at a very young age:
A friend of mine when I was in second grade was sick for a whole week. I asked another friend about it, who told me she was trying to catch some raindrops in her mouth because she was thirsty (reminder: 2ND GRADE), and well... A bird flew by and delivered its dropping.
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.............................. .. and then, I ate him.
DaJiminiator
05-11-2001, 09:19 PM
Aw, Spidey you DO have more stories! Do share http://www.aliensoup.com/ubb/smilies/supergrin.gif
Here's what made me paranoid about trying to catch snowflakes in my mouth at a very young age:
A friend of mine when I was in second grade was sick for a whole week. I asked another friend about it, who told me she was trying to catch some raindrops in her mouth because she was thirsty (reminder: 2ND GRADE), and well... A bird flew by and delivered its dropping.
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.............................. .. and then, I ate him.